Mean Stupid Rock Stars – recorded by a pissed off barmaid
Panel 1:
I never know what to do around famous people. I want to ignore them and I want to stare. Since I already feel so familiar with them, I just assume they know me too. I mean, I’m famous in my own head so everyone knows me right? This automatically puts us on intimate footing.
Panel 2:
One of MTV’s favorite “punk” stars comes into the bar I work at a lot and I try so hard to treat him normal that I ignore him.
Panel 3:
One night I do ’em a favor and let ’em stay late to put their last balls in. Big rock star is a sore loser and he starts throwing pool balls all over, breaks a light and rolls around on the pool table.
Barmaid: “What the fuck are you fuckers doing? PISS OFF! GET OUT!”
Panel 4:
His friends get him to apologize to me for the mess and as i’m shaking his hand I make the mistake of attempting to be witty.
Barmaid: “Ok. Now, just ’cause yer rich-n-famous don’t mean you can go busting the place up!”
Panel 5:
Big mistake. Rock star freaks out and turns infantile. He throws potato chip bags at me and madly shakes the stairwells as he yells and jumps up and down.
Rock Star: “I’M NOT FUCKING RICH AND FAMOUS YOU BITCH! FUCKING SHIT! BITCH!”
Panel 6:
Rock Star’s Friend: “Sorry he’s drunk. He didn’t mean it. He gets shit about being famous all day long. Sorry.”
Barmaid: “Shit. I haven’t been yelled at since High School and I haven’t been called a bitch in ages. WHAT THE FUCK? Part of me wants to be everybody’s pal and the rest of me wants to kick his measly ass.”
Panel 7:
So, let this be a lesson to you all. Rock stars are mean and stupid and should be ignored at all costs. Do not try to make funny jokes ’cause they will throw tantrums and maybe even call you a bitch!
Maybe someday i’ll be able to make this into a big joke and drop the one liner “Hey everyone! Once a big, mean, stupid rock star called me a bitch, cool eh?”
Meanwhile, the worst and most confusing thing about this incident is that his poppy, preppy song lyrics have been on the tip of my tongue morning, noon, and night. I am cursed.